William and his pea-shooter

in recital this is not what it seems.

in recital an explanation will kill

the momentum.

it’s a straw, better a plastic one

and some raw, unfrozen peas,

the articles of ordnance.

spitballs are disgusting but are

allowed as substitute ammunition.

no one dies in the exchange of fire.

the cemetery’s the best battlefields,

what with all the stones before brass

plaques with raised letters of the decedent’s

name, years living, ending in date of death,

often with touching quotations like:

beloved father, mother brother sister…

a warrior with his peashooter is

left standing, open to incoming fire.

these brass plaques were not intended

for pea-shooters, or making out with girls

on a silent night.

my tombstone will be upright, waist high,

and inscribed: “squatting behind this stone

is allowed for pea-shooters to take cover.

young lovers are welcome, too.

show some respect and do not urinate”!