-the complete, "all-purpose poem"––

a poem you can reach for everyday without fear

of annoyingly probing introductions found in, well, poetry-

1.   spray your tub, your sink and toilet.

take it to the kitchen for fragrant relief from

the acid aroma of spaghetti sauce simmering on the stove.

2.    spray your closets from musty odors, like

grandpa’s mothy overcoat which smells of stale port,

parmesan cheese, and "Gioconni’s Funeral Home"

conveniently located on the corner of Healy and Quarry.

2b.   also, please be sure to thoroughly spray that McCartney CD

of his recorded “Silly Love Songs” BECAUSE IT STINKS.

advisory:

DO NOT SPRAY LENNON’S “ACROSS THE UNIVERSE”!

what's that you say?  you don’t have it?   hmm.. figures.

3.   go ahead. spray yourself in the face.

go ahead. give it a good shot!

what’s that you ask?

yeah, sure it’s okay to keep your eyes open.

why in hell would you need them?